Ends and beginnings

Ends and beginnings, the irony of these two words make me wonder how our lives keep swinging from an end to a beginning and from a beginning to an end. 

Do things start just to end? that question has been burdening my mind for a while and I found that the answer is probably yes.

Things begin just to end, but every single end teaches you a life lesson you would've never learned without that very end you experienced. 

There's that famous quote "Every end is just a new beginning" but I think this should be modified to "Every end is just a new beginning for a new end" I mean, nothing lasts in life, not even the most beautiful things that you thought would someday last.

A beautiful flower withers and dies over time, but just because that flower died doesn't mean you ever forgot how beautiful it once looked like, but you'll just move on enjoying the plenty other beautiful flowers out there. That's just like our lives, just because something came to an end doesn't mean you'll sit and grief over the loss of it for the rest of your life, but rather, you'll smile and enjoy all the beautiful things you've been blessed with.

Accept loss and move on, this is life's policy. Nothing is meant to last and "forever" happens to be just in paradise.

Against the current

Growing up being different and swimming against the current of the community you've been raised in is hard, being questioned for everything you do and why you lead your life in a certain way is suffocating since you can't always ignore answering, being treated sometimes according to how you dress is hurtful for realizing how some minds are so superficial. Is it because I'm different that's why you think I'm wrong? Or that I'll reach a certain limit and then go back swimming with all of you in the same current? Is it because of my age that is just a number and is not a scale by any means for how my mind is developed in a way or another! Why do you insist on making it so hard when it's already is! It's not my issue that you're so shallow from the inside that you don't understand the reasons why I'm this way. Well apparently IT IS MY LIFE. MY OWN LIFE. I get to do whatsoever I want since it doesn't harm you nor disturb your peace of mind. Don't assume you know it all just because you're some years older, cause most probably you don't know. You just don't know anything at all.

False hope

You wish. You wish time froze, you wish the clock never counted another second, you wish you could tame all the voices in your head, you wish you could read thoughts because it would've been so much easier by now. 

And you hope, you hope when the time goes on and the clock counts another second it'll be a second worth living, that if it holds heart breaking events you learn and if it holds happiness you smile, smile from your heart. You hope that if the voices in your head is untamable you could just filter them and listen to the good ones, you hope that if you can't read thoughts you could at least be optimistic enough. 

And our lives keep swinging from hoping to wishing and vice versa, and we swing with it, from state to another, waiting for stability.

Stop snoozing

We don't just snooze the alarm when it keeps ringing. We snooze so many other things in our lives. We snooze the important decisions we know very well we've to make. We snooze our souls's needs and demands because we're just too lazy to wake up the heart, so we left it sleeping. Sleeping for so long. We snooze the the constant reminders that indicates that something wrong is going on, we put them aside, and we sleep. We snooze anything that is awakening, because we got used to laziness and procrastination.

But until when are we going to keep snoozing? Aren't we going to wake up from this lifelong sleep! 

Be influential and don't just be "ordinary" you were born for a higher purpose than sleeping, and sleeping doesn't necessarily have to be the process of sleeping itself, you can be wide awake but your heart, soul and actions are having some long rest. Set a plan, start working hard to attain your goals, and if you fail, rise up again and keep going until you reach the top of the mountain.

Reaching out for light

Imagine getting trapped in a cave, all of a sudden unexpectedly. All your recent and coming plans are cancelled. And your future is blurry. Most probably what will cross your mind is the people you love, the things you regret doing and the things you wish you did when you had time. When you were free. You'll feel suffocated by your disability to move, to reach for what you want. You'll scream loud, and even louder, reaching out for help, but there's no one. It's just you and yourself. It's just you and the memories you had before the moment you got trapped, whether these memories are good or bad you'll just keep replaying them anyway.

You keep thinking how you'll get out, and you'll keep wondering if you're gonna be trapped forever or someone will show you a secret path to the light. You lose hope, then you tell yourself not to give up, maybe you'll find the way, and finally reach for the sun light. You hold on as much as you can. You keep holding on to the slightest string wishing you don't slip by.

Stay

We live this life and we want everything to stay as it is, just the same, and when it doesn't it aches in our hearts and it hurts a lot, whether the loss is something materialistic or someone. We indulge ourselves in a lot of situations that may even harm us to try to keep what we're losing, it's more like running after your shadow, you'll never get it, you'll just keep running and it'll hurt more.
The hardest word we can't utter is 'stay', stay just for one more time. Cry, pain, suffer and suffocation cause we've lost what we've been calling 'life', as people say to each others 'you're life' maybe they don't fully mean it by words, but in actions this sentence fits their situation perfectly. They have really taken people, and materialistic worldly things as their 'life' so if they lose one of these very things they've lost their lives too! It's not just sadness it's catastrophe.
That's why we should stop saying 'stay' to things that won't stay anymore, we should accept the fact that everything changes and nothing stays the same. That's dunya's first law, everything is temporary. If you're seeking perfection and eternal happiness here, rest please, you won't find it. It's not pessimism and it's not that this life is bad but it's not our home, we'll keep swinging from one state to another crumbling and falling and getting on our feet again in a never ending circle until we reach our real home, paradise.

The sky

Looking at the clouds and contemplating upon them, and asking why didn't Allah create clouds in a certain order everyday? Like placing the clouds in a certain shape, Maybe because through the clouds' disorder we see how beautiful is it, we love clouds, even though they're changeable and not in a certain order. Maybe Allah is sending us an indirect message that we can see beauty too through our changeable disordered lives? Or another message that we would've been bored now if our lives was in a certain shape, we would've lost sense of life if it was unchanging, if things just stayed the way they're forever, it would've been unbearable. Appreciate the life you have no matter how changing and disordered is it. Somewhere, somehow, there's beauty in it just as there's beauty in the disordered clouds in the sky.